I’ve really got to give myself a pat on the back. I’ve been doing this full-time student thing non-stop for exactly three years now. I’m not going to backdate to the first time I went to college because I eventually took a break from that. Regardless, I’ve managed to make mostly A’s and 3 B’s, graduate magna cum laude, and survive countless hurdles of family issues along the way. Yeah, I’m still patting my back.

So what is the struggle really? I’ve already come this far and am so close to the end …. I should be a pro at this. What could stop me now?

I think I’m burning out and it’s not one of those slow stellar deaths. This involves a supernova and eventually a huge black hole devoid of everything and anything.

I am getting so tired and I wonder will it all pay off in the end? I’ve taken my student loans and have my scholarships. Hell, I even have the Herschel backpack. I should be set, but I’ve suddenly lost interest and I don’t know why. I was doing well up until just after midterms and I’ve seemed to plateaued for awhile. And now, it’s a fast descent. I’m struggling to keep up with reading assignments and churning out papers weekly is really taking its toll on me. Like I said in my last post, this is the hardest semester I’ve had yet.

And it’s now at this point of my academic career that I am first questioning what I want to do. I took a geology course last semester and it’s grown on me. I get the terms and the principles. The science of geology really makes more sense to me than writing sometimes because I can actually help real people in the world in a very tangible way. I’ve thought about it a lot and I may end up going back for that degree. I don’t know.

I know I can make it through this because I’ve been through worse.

Because I’m listening to Lady Gaga right now ….

Not really, but in addition to that, I just felt like writing today before I headed out for work.

Halloween

I hope everyone had a great Halloween. I know a lot of people go out to parties, go clubbing, or even go trick-or-treating. I had a paper to write so I ended up at a fetish party absorbing everything before I write this feature story. I thought the environment was pretty interesting but I think the experience was kind of killed off my some people in the group I went with. All in all, I got my story so I’m good to go.

We were at the club for about three hours before we left and went to Waffle House for the fourth meal of the day. It was cold and windy and a shocking 32 degrees outside. When I finally got home, I was all too happy to take off my five-inch heels, corset, and maid costume. I put on my pj’s and I was back to being the girl everyone recognized me to be. :P

School

I’ve been swamped with school and I am about two weeks behind. I don’t know how I am going to catch up but if it’s anything I can do, it’s that I can make academic miracles happen at the last minute.

Coffee

I never understood why people drank coffee religiously but now I am starting to get why. I’ve been so tired from school. This semester is the most demanding I’ve had in awhile. It’s November and I hope I can make it for one more month. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Braces

I actually got braces back in September. I’m going to try to write a review and post weekly updates …. there is just not enough time for everything. I think my personal challenge is managing time. Going to try though. But about braces, I’ve wanted braces for a long time and I am finally glad I am getting everything straightened out. The way my bite was before actually caused my teeth to excessively wear down. Yes, it is done out of vanity but also to save my teeth as well.

I wish you all a great weekend and I’ll write again in a few days.