Category: Reviews

Review: Katy Perry is a Marine?

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So I haven’t posted anything in forever, but I’ll try to as I stumble upon anything interesting. Katy Perry’s “Part of Me” music video just came out three days ago. She first performed “Part of Me” during the 2012 Grammy’s. A lot of people believe that the song is about her falling out with Russell Brand but I’m pretty sure it was written a few years back and it was about her ex-boyfriend from Gym Class Heroes. The fact that she debuted the song after the divorce,however, does mean that her performance was directed at Russell.

When the trailer first came out, I was pretty sure it’d be a fail as it resembled 30 Seconds to Mars’ “This is War”, and the rhythmic marching of Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”. After watching this video fifteen times and counting, I can say that it wasn’t as bad as I originally thought.

The video starts off with a younger version of Katy Perry gazing into a keepsake locket of her then beau with some freshly manicured ladynails in an old Volvo.

Girl, you done got your nails did!

Clad in some heavy makeup which fails to cover a cheek of acne, she looks up to what is revealed to be her man kissing another girl at his workplace. Stalker much, Katy? But then again, she probably had her suspicions in the first place so it’s not her fault.

All the Nars and NYX in the world can't hide the pizza face.

A jaw-grinding Katy hops out of her car and makes her way to Mr. Wrong with an expression that looks like she’s clearly trying to remember her lines with her head half-cocked at him. I expected a lot more confrontation but she places the locket down on a desk with not so much a clunk, swipes his face with a manila folder, and sashays away.

Katy drives doing her best to convey bottled-up anger via lip chewing. The track begins in the background and she pulls up to a gas station and grabs an Arizona. I have to say that Arizona makes some of the best beverages out there. She makes her way to the counter to pay and somehow she has to take off some sunglasses that weren’t on her in the first place. Is it me or is it just weird that she drove without sunglasses to protect her sizzling cataracts but puts them on in a gas station before taking them off to the almighty Arizona? What has the world come to these days?

So this is what fixes a break up.

Before she heads out, she finds a bulletin board that has a sticker reading, “All women are created equal, then some become Marines”. I must mention that at this point in the video, you get to see the outline of her wig, too.

And I had no idea she had a crooked tooth, but hey, I’m not perfect and she doesn’t have to be either. At least I make sure my faux is hidden though. Bad, Katy.

The idea of being a Marine smacks Katy right in the face and she rummages through her trunk to pull out her Adidas gym bag? Hmm, more advertisement. She locks herself in the gas station restroom with the mysterious gym bag. She arms herself with some kiddie scissors and hacks away at her wig. Good thing it was her wig, right? So I’m going to point out that in movies, books, and videos, it seems that when shit goes downhill for us girls, we chop our hair off. I don’t know if it’s a symbol of rebirth or what, but that was my excuse when I hacked my hair off. The fact that she’s doing it to be enlisted in the Marines, I wouldn’t say that it is accurate nor is it necessary. For a phoenix from the ashes kind of video, it’s disappointing that this music video still employs a lot of old school and outdated beliefs. The hair hacking is the first of a handful that follows in this vid.

Katy, what have you done?!?!
Katy, what have you done?!?! I can't help but feel this is what she looks like when she's drunk.

With her hair cropped, she binds her breasts … Okay, stop. Katy, this is not Mulan or some kind of ancient war that involves espionage and cross-dressing. Within seconds, this music video becomes more than outrageous. Did I mention, that she flashes her panties, too?

She hands over her personal belongings at the base in exchange for her new uniform. Every single person she bunks with has a bun … and she has short hair. Not thing wrong with short hair, but was that the only method they could think of to make her stand out other than her still wearing a few layers of foundation, concealer, lip gloss, and mascara? Tsk, tsk. We go through a few shots of her and her then boyfriend.

These aren't even her hands! :(

She carries a fellow Marine down a hill, does a few practice punches, walks down a beam, switches her watch to her left hand so we can get a clear glimpse of it, and bayonets a dummy.

Wrong hand ...

Katy gets snail mail from her ex, Jason, in all caps and decides to Zippo the hell out of it.

She dances and twirls underneath a flag of stripes and stars while we get numerous shots of amphibious landing training which is pretty inaccurate and her doing some happy lip-syncing.

And we finally end the video with her clad in camo face paint.

I have to say that there was a lot going on in this video and I realized that this is the second time I’ve reviewed one of her videos. Katy’s not my absolute favorite when compared to Gaga but I can’t even imagine doing an analysis of any Gaga-esque video because that would take a whole week to type.

Visually, this music video takes us into a world that not many of us know of unless we are in it, but is it just and accurate? I definitely cannot say so. I found the concept hard to believe when Katy’s basically walking around with bad acting and so much makeup to hide her insecurities. If she wanted to be strong, she didn’t have to cut her hair or bind her D cups. She should have taken a look at herself and wiped off the superficial layers. You don’t get passed a machine gun and you’re an empowered woman. Having self-confidence and a high self-esteem is what makes you, yourself, powerful. These are modern times and I wish this video could’ve taken us a step forward as opposed to pushing us a step back when it comes to propaganda and old beliefs.

I understand the symbolism behind the video, but this video left me quite unsatisfied. There were way too many unnecessary things going on and even though she wanted to represent the women of the Marine Corps in a good light, I can’t help but feel that the video flopped on real self-empowerment. The song and the video do not mesh at all, but hey, they tried.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the analysis and all I can say is until next time everyone! By the way, I hate that she never has a true 1080p music video. Yes, 1080 is offered but I refuse to be conned, Katy! Maybe she should take after Gaga and get her own RED camera.

Katy’s video is below and as always, enjoy in hd.

Wax Burn … First Time For Everything. Homemade Masks So Suck It, LUSH!

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So I got a little excited when it came to waxing my upper lip today. The little bits of fuzz have always bothered me because I can see them so I decided to remove them today via wax strips. I know there’s the old rule about never waxing the same spot twice. Well, I forgot alright and it looks like I have a cut and two little spots on the left side of my mouth. I’ve dabbed some ointment on it for it to heal and damn, after all I’ve gone through, I still missed some spots. :( So remember people, don’t mess up like I did. Even though I didn’t get a second-degree burn or rip off half of my face like a lot of people out there have done, I suggest you be careful. You may not be as lucky as I’ve been.

I apologize for not updating in so long but I’ve been pretty preoccupied. I landed a seasonal job at Macy’s as a cosmetics sales associate and I got the job strictly because I was tired of being at home all day like I’ve been doing so for the past year. I know a lot of people are thinking, “The economy is bad and you should be lucky to have a job!” I guess I could be but I’m just going to have to say, “No,” on this one. What is so great about having a job for a month or so? I highly doubt that in one month, I will acquire enough money to meet all of my financial goals. Plus, I only got to work a day before I started feeling ill. Damn, Macy’s. The day after my first day at work, I start feeling iffy with the chills and a fever. Next thing you know, I wake up one afternoon feeling like I got beat up in my sleep. A day later, I deduce that I’ve gotten the flu. Are you serious? That makes it twice this season. Of all the people in the world, it had to be me to get the flu twice. I hope they still have flu shots at CVS because if I don’t get one now, I’ll get the flu again in January or February. So I made $100 and I got Peter a watch, at least something good came out of seasonal work.

Also, I am writing a first-person POV on my first day so when I get that done, be on the look out for it. It’s super funny!

I’m thinking about getting Invisalign. Peter thinks that if I get the traditional ones, it’ll cut my time with braces in half and the price, too. I understand that but I hate having to thread my floss. I have enough issues flossing already. I guess I could get the air floss but I’d rather try something new. Okay, so I tagged along with Judy to the orthodontist and I got curious and excited. I’ve always wanted to straighten my teeth but I never took the initiative to go and find out about it. After Judy got her molds and all, Dr. Farrah checked on my teeth and told me it would take about 12 months.

Judy at the orthodontist!

I was so ecstatic. Honestly, I wasn’t happy because of the amount of time for I could wear them four years and equally be happy. It’s just that I’ve never had an orthodontist evaluate me before. Vanessa at the front desk said that worst-case scenario, it’d be $6,900 without insurance and no discounts. I have insurance and hopefully a discount will show up. So if it takes 12 months, I’m not looking at too much, am I? Yay!!!

I’ve been making my own skin care products and they seem to be working for me. I got tired of my exfoliators/face scrubs not exfoliating so I made my own. I didn’t feel like going to LUSH to get another Oatifix fresh face mask so I made my own, too! Also, LUSH claims to be natural and vegan but they include parabens and several chemicals in their products, too. I mean, we can’t go all natural but if we can limit things, we should. Goodbye, Laura Mercier!

Anyway, here is my recipe for the facial scrub. Because of the similarities of ingredients used in my facial scrub and my facial mask recipes, I can definitely tell you that they go well together in one’s skin care regimen. Please try it out and let me know if it’s worked for you. I will be posting the recipe for the facial mask this weekend so you all can get your New Year’s Eve partying started with awesome skin.

Moisturizing Facial Scrub

Whenever I use a facial scrub, I always feel like it hasn’t done its job in giving me a “fresher face”. My skin still looks dull, dark, and unrefined. When I rinse off the product, my skin feels dry and raw, as if it’s in worse condition that what I started with. With this moisturizing facial scrub, you can scrub away dead skin and impurities 100% naturally without hurting your skin. Sugar crystals glide across the epidermis like the diamonds from a spa-quality microdermabrasion yet it has enough traction to lift dead skin cells from the surface of your skin. Honey naturally disinfects and balances out the chemical and acidic irregularities on your skin. It reduces inflammation and irritation from blemishes, sensitive skin, acne scars, and acne while its moisturizing properties self-adjusts to the needs of your skin. And lastly, extra virgin olive oil (the key ingredient to healthy skin, hair, nails, and a good singing voice) contains squalene, a natural self-adjusting and self-regulating moisturizer that minimizes sebum (the greasiness of the skin) while depositing rich antioxidants, vitamins A & E, and moisture where it’s needed. Olive oil leaves your ski plump with a healthy glow because of its anti-aging properties while it works to heal the surface of the skin. This scrub is perfect for all skin types and conditions due to its self-adjusting properties. And don’t be afraid to try this out too, guys!

What you’ll need:

Sugar, olive oil, a spoon, pyrex pitcher, and that goopy stuff on the spoon is what your mixture will look like.
  • mixing bowl
  • honey
  • extra-virgin olive oil
  • sugar
  • a spoon
  1. Combine 2 teaspoons of sugar, 1 teaspoon of olive oil, and 4 teaspoons of honey in your bowl.
  2. Mix until honey and olive oil are combined. Don’t worry about your sugar not mixing in thoroughly. It will look like a paste. You can add more or less olive oil/sugar for your desired consistency. You want to be able to scrub it on your face, but not have it so runny that it’s dripping off. (Sorry for the bad photo, I got lazy.)

Application:

  1. When you’re satisfied with your scrub’s texture, pull your hair away from your face, wash your face and leave it damp (not wet). Damp is getting some water in your hands and patting the water onto your face. Overdo this and your scrub with run. Not enough water and it won’t move.
  2. With clean hands, take a quarter-size amount onto your fingertips and work it into your skin vertically from the center of your face outwards for five minutes. Be sure to stay away from your immediate eye area. The skin around your eyes is not the same as your face. It’s much more sensitive, thinner, and prone to wrinkles from tugging and rubbing. Also, as you scrub your way through, you might need to re-wet your hands just a little if the scrub starts to thicken up. It’s your dead skin coming off that’s making it harder to scrub!
  3. After you’re done scrubbing vertically, scrub in circular motions from the center out for five minutes. The difference in the scrubbing motions is the first part works to effectively bring out the dead skin cells and the second part with the circular motions helps to refine and brighten the parts of your face where light naturally hits and to finish off any missed spots part one didn’t get earlier.
  4. Rinse your face with lukewarm water to loosen the scrub and sugar crystals.
  5. Splash cold water on your face.

You can cover your scrub with a plastic wrap or scoop it into a jar. It’ll be a month to three months before each batch expires. And each batch gives you enough product to use twice a week for a month. You tell me what your skin feels like. :D It should feel smoother, plumper, brighter, and a whole lot softer. I hope you had fun creating your own scrub and that it has worked for you. So forget about spending $15-$45 for a month’s supply of facial scrub that doesn’t work when you can create years and years of this facial scrub for under $15.

Happy holidays everyone and may the best be with you!