I’ve really got to give myself a pat on the back. I’ve been doing this full-time student thing non-stop for exactly three years now. I’m not going to backdate to the first time I went to college because I eventually took a break from that. Regardless, I’ve managed to make mostly A’s and 3 B’s, graduate magna cum laude, and survive countless hurdles of family issues along the way. Yeah, I’m still patting my back.

So what is the struggle really? I’ve already come this far and am so close to the end …. I should be a pro at this. What could stop me now?

I think I’m burning out and it’s not one of those slow stellar deaths. This involves a supernova and eventually a huge black hole devoid of everything and anything.

I am getting so tired and I wonder will it all pay off in the end? I’ve taken my student loans and have my scholarships. Hell, I even have the Herschel backpack. I should be set, but I’ve suddenly lost interest and I don’t know why. I was doing well up until just after midterms and I’ve seemed to plateaued for awhile. And now, it’s a fast descent. I’m struggling to keep up with reading assignments and churning out papers weekly is really taking its toll on me. Like I said in my last post, this is the hardest semester I’ve had yet.

And it’s now at this point of my academic career that I am first questioning what I want to do. I took a geology course last semester and it’s grown on me. I get the terms and the principles. The science of geology really makes more sense to me than writing sometimes because I can actually help real people in the world in a very tangible way. I’ve thought about it a lot and I may end up going back for that degree. I don’t know.

I know I can make it through this because I’ve been through worse.