So I’ve been raising an orphaned kitten and it just passed away today. The kitten passed in its sleep and it looked very peaceful. At first I thought it died from asphyxiation but it showed no signs of so. It must have been something else. It seems like a lot has been going on – school,  family, and a whole lot of stress just from thinking itself.

The reason for the title because I feel like I’m not practicing one of the things I believe. I know they saw that you are the friends that you keep and if that is true, am I a part of the superficial average looking Asian group that happens to be an immigrant who likes to break promises and has no honor? Am I a drug addict who runs around doing stupid acts that jeopardize everyone in my social circle? Am I a cheap skate who throws a bitch fit for having to drop off someone who really needed a ride? No, I’m none of these nor am I a person who is trying to hold on to their lost adolescence, a time when they weren’t fat and pathetically seeking sympathy about it. I don’t have to lie about my income, my tax return, or how much I spend because I don’t give a shit if other people can’t afford it and I can.

Tangent subject: I just hate it when people try to make you feel bad for being a tad bit hedonistic and generous with my spending. You have your finance issues and that’s your problem not mine. I shouldn’t have to hold back on my goals and wants just because your standard of living is different from mine. I don’t wave it around but it just seems like they are always on your back about these types of things whether they are mentioning about the starving children or this and that. I have no problem donating to actual people as opposed to actual companies because honestly, I don’t know where that money is being put into.

I guess I’m ranting because I’m tired of my so-called friends. Whether things get better or I turn around and recycle them, only time will tell. Maybe they’ve changed. Maybe I’ve changed but I don’t think it really matters because it’s time for a change. Maybe not having friends was a better investment after all. Tired of all the lies, the backstabbing, the flakes, and the stupidity.

I think I should be focusing on myself in the first place.